


Blood In The Water

by BrokenTourniquet



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, CADMUS - Freeform, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Identity Reveal, Major Character Injury, and some gay shit, the exploration of Kara's self doubt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-25
Updated: 2017-08-25
Packaged: 2018-12-19 14:51:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 18,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11900028
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BrokenTourniquet/pseuds/BrokenTourniquet
Summary: “Yes darling...I’m fine, you saved me,” a sob broke from her throat, “I wished you hadn't. Look at you. Look at what you did for me. Oh Kara,” she cried again._________“We have a lot to talk about, yes?” She let out a soft laugh, “I love you. So please don’t do this again. I know you’re a hero- I know people need you, I will always understand, but I need you to come back to me this time. Deal?”





	Blood In The Water

**Author's Note:**

> You can fine me at: http://darktonic.tumblr.com/ask
> 
> Soulmate AU that's not really a soulmate AU but kind of is.  
> This is shit that makes no sense but have it!
> 
> who can spot the Mass Effect Reference/easter egg
> 
> Song inspiration (I suggest you listen while you read): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uPpsR4IajhU

It’s not something that’s been spoken, declared, or even said aloud.

Kara knew better than that.

She’d have a pack of people telling her not to, indirectly. It’d come through comments about how even if she could promise it, she couldn’t save everyone. What if someone had gotten injured because of her promise? Well, she’d be better, faster, stronger so that would never happen. What if it was just guilt pushing her towards this? It wasn’t, but she didn’t think many of them would understand.

Alex might. Alex would. She just wouldn’t see why until Kara showed her. Kara didn’t know how she could do that, not without proving what her sister could hypothetically say she was right about in some form. That it was stubborn and reckless. That she had to stop.

But she couldn’t.

She promised.

She  _ promised. _

**_She_ ** _ promised. _

Kara was not like her mother nor like her father. Kara was not like Kal-El. She would not break her promises, the quiet emotional ones nor the ones spoken in a joking manner. She would stand head strong, resilient, and unmoving in her dedication to keeping them. She would not allow herself even a moment to think about the possibility of breaking this one specifically.

It has not been spoken because it doesn’t need to be. She’s come to terms that it’s something that had been bound to happen. That she stands tall, chin tilted upward, hands clenched, and the symbol on her chest proudly displayed each time she reaches to fulfill her promise a little more. It was inevitable.

She thinks if the others knew, that maybe they’d think it worse than they do already. Right now, they think it’s the guilt of a death that had been made to save her, the guilt of two kidnaps, of manipulation she should have seen, pushing her to do this. Not the weight of a promise that she’d silently sworn to take upon herself in any and every way. They’re wrong, and it’s not a lie- not technically, but she’s chosen to let them think it’s the guilt.

She hates how it makes her feel every time she drags another person in and they give her a look of concern. She hates how it makes her frown before she turns and strides out, away from the looks. She doesn’t feel...guilty about it, they all had their own lives, she feels guilty that they might be trying to help her and they don’t realize they can’t give her the help she needs.

It’s not something wrong with her emotionally, she’s as okay as she can be after losing what she has and watching flames overtake her world time and time again. She deals with it as best she can. She wishes she could explain it to them in a way they would understand. But would they? Understand?

Maybe she’s not giving them enough credit. Then again, maybe she’s giving them too much.

On Krypton, there had been plenty of stories, plenty of legends, myths, even truths to her people. Love was not something that was considered a priority, but like many cultures, it had been romanticised, though hers never romanticised it like earth did, and seen as something either inhibiting or uplifting. Her people were emotionally driven at times, with minds that came first, level headedness, and anything but emotions taking priority first. Such an odd combination.

Mothers and fathers had love for their children as most would unless you were a terrible parent or child. Partners, however, were matched. Not necessarily partners out of love, but more or less what had was thought of to fit more together. Marriage was considered forever. There was no belief in divorce. So most times you have been matched with someone seen as perfect for you. Who could elevate you in their society. As a person.

There had been a story, the irony had been who had told her about it, Lara Jor-El. Her aunt. One who had told her before to never listen to Myth. It was a lesser known story, more or less a myth- if you asked her father. Her mother believed.

To every person, there was a piece of them taken by Rao upon their first breath, and placed into another. It didn’t matter how far away they were, galaxies, inches, but there was another that held a piece of you. Bestowed upon them in a red light. The moment your eyes locked- you knew. Your match. 

That was how they justified the matches, but there was the story.

A woman so gallant, so brave, and so full of love. Kindness. She had never found her love, a match. She was believed, however, by Rao, and as it goes- during a cold night with a frown upon her face she called out to Rao and asked  _ why _ did he not share a part of her at birth like he had others? He replied,  _ because “you will give them the most sacred piece of yourself. It could never be done by anyone but you, child.” _

Confused, she asked for clarification. Rao’s light sought her out, like a father's hand cupping his daughter's cheek. He did clarify.  _ “Because only you shall know who to love when the world does not, you are beyond the stars. Love so bright and warm, your match is not a match, they are a heart, they hold the stars in their eyes just as you do.” _

_ “How will I find them?”  _ She asked

_ “You will find nothing in your heart but the warmest love, galaxies when you look at them. They will be there for you as you are for them, they will make the decisions that may break their heart, but spare yours just as you would do for them. You will swear to protect them, and you will never wish to leave them unless it is so their wish.” _

Hopeless romantics, as Lara had called them once before that night. Hopeless Soulmates, as humans called them.

Kara had tried to never believe in the idea, the myth, as it were. Her people were those of scientists. How could they believe such stories? She supposed, the first story, gave enough excuse for parents to match their children with others. 

Lara believed her to be like the woman from the story.

Someone too full of love, goodness, to have someone chosen for her by the hands of their gods.

It was Ironic.

Lara’s old story. The one of the woman. Kara had forgotten for years after coming to earth, though some part of her had to poke it at the back of her mind every once in awhile. It was always there. Like the memories and culture of her people. It would never leave her, it would be there.

Green eyes, vibrant, full of tears to come pleading with her to hold on as she felt a sharp pain crawling over her body, down her throat, gave her an answer to the question,  _ would it even matter if it was true? _ She couldn’t even shake her head to say no. To plead with those green eyes not to, that she didn’t have to be afraid to choose someone that wasn’t her.

Kara could take it. Kara could have taken it.

Kara would have been okay if Lena had chosen Jack. Lena  _ deserved _ her heart to be in tact. For old friends or loves to remain alive and breathing. Lena was more steadfastly grounded in her resolve. Kara knew if it had been her, James, or Alex she- she wouldn’t have been able to choose. She was convinced she only needed the sun to heal. In that moment at least. Lena didn’t need to choose her. It would have been okay.

It’s what she’d convinced herself at the time. It wasn’t until Alex had actually looked at Biomax that she’d discovered how devastating it could have been. A small cluster? Maybe. The quantity that had been shoved down her throat? Not at all. 

It hadn’t been until just before she’d visited Lena that she had prepared herself in a short few seconds, convinced herself, it would have been okay so long as Lena didn’t have to break her own heart. No matter the outcome. She would have dealt with it as it came. 

It hadn’t been until her arm was wrapped around Lena, a promise that would never go anywhere, that she would always protect her, that the words had actually seeped into herself. She had realized how deep it went. Initially, it had panicked her, frightened her, but the more time she had after to think it over nights or even a couple of weeks later-

It had been natural. 

Soulmates, like the woman in the story.

On earth, they were stories and romanticised.

On Krypton? They were believed in some form. But perhaps the belief was wrong.

The more Kara thought about it, the more selfish she felt. The more she realized. 

At every possible accusation, at every situation in which she could- Kara had stood up for Lena. As a friend, yes, but she became a resolute shield to stand in front of the woman. Driven by emotion she never questioned. 

She found stars in Lena’s eyes when she spoke with a smirk when the air was light and comfortable. When Lena tried not to cry. She found galaxies of possibilities in Lena’s ideas. Her future. Their friendship and the strength it gave her. Steadfast. Hopeful.

She found a warmth in her heart that would form at the sight of Lena, her smile. Her voice. It was inevitable.

Kara would never want to die, would anyone? But she would have been fine. She had come to the realization that a hero’s life ended in death or resignation, and part of her knew she could never resign if she could do something. She just didn’t want Lena’s heart to break.

For the first time, as Kara sat alone in her apartment with the tv playing something at random, she had come face to face with the realization in full. Enough to make her sob into her hands. Not out of the possibility it could never be returned, but how selfish she felt for feeling it now. For feeling it for some time. 

_ She loved Lena, and Lena was hurting. _

Lena was hurting and Kara’s heart had chosen to let her know the love she felt was real at that exact moment.

Kara, better than anyone, knew no amount of love could fix the pain of loss and betrayal. You had to learn to cope in your own way and hope it eased within time. She felt  _ selfish. _

Lena was so good. So kind. So brave. She was so selfless, and the face hardly anyone else could see that, well. It frustrated her. Wrongful accusations angered her. Didn’t Lena prove she deserved more than that? That she deserved  _ better _ than that? Lena had. Lena did. She deserved so much more.

The memory of Lara’s story. Of the woman. Soulmates. Came later. During a night the two sat on Kara’s couch, Lena pressed against her, expressing concern about how little of a reaction Kara had to her breakup with Mon-El. Kara had been truthful and said she’d cried, let herself go through the motions, but in order to be true to herself, she had to let him go. Lena understood and let it go.

Whatever had played and the questioned was asked  _ what’s a soulmate? Well, it’s like a best friend but more. _ Her mind had latched onto Lena. It had been simple, a thought.

_ Lena is part of me, _ she thought,  _ the pieces I have given. _

A moment later it had dawned on her. She tensed, Lena, sleeping soundly against her, and she felt selfish all over again. She had drawn out memories, had gone to the AI in her mother's image, her own fortress of solitude. She had asked in both places, long after she’d covered Lena.

She needed to know more. Anything. She had received the same thing. The same story added with the lines of ‘it is just a story’. Although, the face of her mother had told her, ‘ _ it is just a story, but if it had been true- I believed Lara’s theory to be true. You would be its truth. Further analysis shows you give more than you should to the world.’  _

_ “It’s just a story,” _ Kara had argued,  _ “I am meant to be alone. My love- it- it hurts-” _

_ “You are wrong,” _ the AI had spoken, surprising her,  _ “Love is meant to be a pillar to lean against, to hold you up. If anyone deserved what you so call a soulmate, someone to unconditionally love you as if Rao had crafted nothing more perfect- it would be you.” _

Kara had left in frustration. It was a single moment in that the AI had seemed so...human. 

Love was not perfect. 

Maybe she thought of it wrong. Maybe they all did. Maybe the story was thought of wrong. 

Maybe a soulmate wasn’t who was made for her. After All, in the story, the woman had to give the most precious part of herself to someone. Maybe it was about loving someone, romantically or otherwise, with all of her soul. Maybe a soulmate wasn’t someone who was created for her, she was stuck with, maybe it was someone she had chosen to love selflessly, her entire soul put into it.

The idea of it, despite how ridiculous she thought it was she was stuck on it, frustrated her less. She already was doing just that.

So she had sworn, silently to herself, she had sworn to protect Lena Luthor no matter the cost.

Sworn Protector of Lena Luthor.

So out of fear for Lena’s safety, she had been driven to- for weeks to actively seek out anyone and anything that had the idea to physically hurt Lena, and stop them. It was hard to balance that with life, friends, but making sure Lena never felt abandoned by her. She’d never forgive herself if she hurt Lena, unintentionally or not. 

Her friends had become worried, thought it was down out of guilt over Jack’s death. It wasn’t.

It was the fear of losing Lena and breaking her promise.

She was terrified to tell them  _ how _ she felt. Saying it out loud made it more real, made it that much harder to put on a mask and seal it away.

 

**XXXXXX**

 

“Supergirl,” it was spoken in a soft, quiet voice, “can I help you?”

Lena didn’t turn around, didn’t smile. Kara was still a reminder of Jack being gone, well Kara thought so. At times it could be too much, and Kara didn’t mind. She guessed the symbol was too much.

But Lena didn’t turn around. If she had, she would have gathered Kara’s appearance. Dirt on her face and suit, a couple of bruises, the appearance she’d just come out of a rough fight and barely won. She would have seen how off Kara seemed.

“Le-na,” she barely spoke out, leaning against the balcony door to Lena’s office.

It much had been the out of breath sound, the attempt to get her attention, that caused Lena to finally turn around. When she did she let out a soft gasp and dropped the pen on her desk, momentarily stunned at the sight of the hero struggling to keep herself upright. She looked beaten and torn up.

It was odd to see when Lena associated her with being so put together, bright smiles, invulnerable. Maybe it was that that gave the Supers so much influence. Thinking that they were invincible. Everyone had a weakness. Supergirl just had two.

“Supergirl,” Lena gasped out again, brought back to herself despite the way Kara could simply stare at her, and was in front of her in a moment, “I- how can I-” Lena seemed to struggle, hesitant to touch Kara, unsure of what to do with her hands, “what happened?”

Kara tried to stand up straighter, push against the doorframe but nearly stumbled forward. Lena’s hands were instantly around her, and Kara found her cheek resting against Lena’s collarbone. It took everything in Kara not to sigh in relief and just close her eyes like they’d done so many times on her couch.

“Are you alright? What happened?” Lena asked again, but her arms never moved from around Kara.

Kara didn’t know how to tell her, not that she had the time for it.

Kara didn’t know how to tell her- tell her that Lillian and Lex were after something Lena had that she probably didn’t know she had because it had been such a secret before she’d taken over L-Corp. She didn’t know how to tell Lena that she’d been tracking two more possible Metallo’s sent after Lena. That she’d fought them for a good hour before they slipped their plan to come here, to L-Corp, and take it by force.

That they’d been instructed to kill all witnesses. Even Lena if she proved to be too much. Lex had ordered them.

That Kara had found herself beaten, but was still faster than anyone Lex could send.

She didn’t know to condense the story before they had problem.

“W-e have to-” Kara found enough strength to stand up on her own, off of Lena, who dropped her hands and looked confused, “-get you out.”

She’d already scanned the building, it was late, there was no one aside from Lena and a couple of janitors. Kara could drop Lena off somewhere safe and come back for the janitors. She could. She could-

“Why?” Lena questioned, stubbornly, “what’s going on?” 

Those green eyes pleaded. 

A lump threatened to form in Lena’s throat.

“Please,” she pleaded, it seemed to surprise Lena, “just...trust me? Please? I- there’s not enough time-”

“Then make the time,” Lena all but demanded, Kara’s eyes threatened to water and if Lena noticed she said nothing, “I’m tired of being pulled around by a string, vaguely by everyone. Please. Just explain.”

Kara’s eyes watered. She just wanted Lena out, she wanted her safe, but she couldn’t find it in herself to argue because she realized perhaps she was part of the reason Lena felt how she did. Lena was right. It wasn’t fair to her. She promised herself after she got Lena out after Lena was safe, she’d come clean.

Though sooner than she’d have liked, confess a couple of weeks early. She would do it. 

She’d be fair to Lena.

“Fine,” she managed to spit out, taking Lena by her arms and leading her towards the middle of room, “I- CADMUS.”

Kara took in a breath that hurt, and Lena’s eyes hardened in anger as she extracted herself from Kara’s grip. Like it burned her. Lena already looked guarded. As if Kara would accuse her of something she wasn’t guilty up. Could she not hear the concern? The pleading in Kara’s tone? Could she not hear Kara’s heart screaming out to stay safe? To leave?

“No. I don’t think that you-” Kara was cut off by the sound of two thuds at the balcony.

They both turned their heads and as Lena tensed, Kara found herself wrapping a hand around Lena’s waist, pulling Lena behind her, as she turned to face her previous opponents. Her jaw set and Lena let out a gasp.

Two men, in tactical uniforms, stood there slowly walking forward. Lena flinched at the sound of the door being yanked away and they continued forward. They looked like...twins possibly. Pale skin, white hair slicked back, and the familiar green circle on their chest. Green glowing almost crystallized design, on their gloveless hands that seemed to swim with liquid Kryptonite. A device sat just below their ears as their eyes gave a dull green glow.

They were previously Daxamite. The device, as Alex had guessed, was what was being used to control their minds. Unfortunately, the synthesized Kryptonite in their chests, veins, was stronger and more potent than the last Metallo she’d faced. They had the same powers Mon-El did. Stronger than he was.

“I won’t let you,” she told them surely.

The men came to a stop, hands to their sides, and stared before speaking at the same time. At Lena.

“Give CADMUS the plans for RYDER-1,” it sounded robotic, emotionless.

“What?” Lena was just as confused, “I don’t know- what that is!” Kara’s hand on her hip tightened as she leaned forward, “You can go through L-Corp. It’s not here.”

There was a silence as the men stood there, eyes flickering in front of them and Kara took a guess that that was how they were getting orders. Shown through eyes by the device, leaving her unable to see them. She took the opportunity to speak to Lena.

“Lena, you need to go,” it was barely audible, but with Lena so close she could hear, “they’ll kill you. It’s an order. From Lex.”

“What?  _ No, _ ” Lena hissed back, “you can’t fight them on your own. Look at the state you’re in, Supergirl.”

“You can’t fight them either,” Kara clipped back, but softened a moment later, “please just...go...I could lose you here and I- I can’t.”

Lena was taken back, leaning back, staring wide eyed. Before she could question, the men sprung back to life and spoke.

“ **New orders:** Kill Supergirl and obtain Lena Luthor.” 

Kara didn’t give herself enough time to question whether or not Lena would actually listen to her, she just had to hope, as she let go of Lena despite Lena’s grip on her wrist and a soft plead to not do it, as she moved forwards towards the two. She barely heard the plea as she forced herself to focus. She might have actually done as Lena asked otherwise.

Just a couple of steps in front of the men, one of them shot a fist out quicker than she imagined, but still being faster she brought a hand up and caught the fist with a small grunt. Her ribs were probably bruised. An ache formed in her hand the longer she held it, and it was a reminder that fighting them was going to be a pain in the ass.

Just as the other man spun, to bring a leg to connect with her back she dropped the hand, pushing him back as hard as she could- he connected with glass and it cracked -she turned on her heel with teeth gritted and caught the leg before it could do damage. Her hands began to move upward, in hopes of forcing the man to drop on his back when she felt something collide with her back.

She stumbled away from the men, groaning, a hand reaching towards her back out of reflex of pain. As she turned, she barely caught the image of the fist coming towards her. She managed to duck, shooting forward and grappling whichever man it was by his waist, pushing him back as he struggled against her. Her aim was to bring him as close to the balcony as she could, she had enough strength to at least throw him over the edge.

Out of surprise, something caught her around the waist and yanked her away- throwing her backward. She grunted in pain as her back connected with a wall, the wall cracking in the process, she dropped to her hands and knees as she struggled to catch her breath.

She wasn’t going to get a break, as it seemed. 

One of the men shot forward, just as she stood up, a fist coming straight towards her, She managed to lean out of the way leaving the fist to break straight through the wall. As the man looked over at her, he was met with one of Kara’s own. She took the opportunity to grapple him, an arm around his head, as she brought a knee to connect with his abdomen. He grunted.

Kara could feel herself growing weaker, and weaker the more their hands touched her. Were near her. Whatever it was the device in their chests kept the kryptonite from spilling radiation into the room. Lillian likely afraid she didn’t know exactly what it would do to others. The form that was in their hands? It was uncontained, likely a thought, that whatever the hands touched would die in the end. Why bother?

Alex would be the one to actually look at it, and give her a definitive answer of whether or not it was their hands that was affecting her. 

Kara was only guessing.

It was the most she could do in this circumstance, in order to keep herself alive. At least long enough for the DEO to finally track her down and help. She didn’t know what they could do, but she knew she needed the backup regardless.

Just as she brought her knee up, connecting with the man’s abdomen again, a darker green beam hit the side of her face. She felt the instant burning of her flesh, falling to her side, a strangled cry, a hand coming up hopelessly to help. What could she do? Nothing. She felt her body try to repair the damage, and while it was working- the pain hurt. It felt like what she guessed burning flesh might, but her body was quick to try to stop the pain.

She gasped, moaning in pain, as she struggled to find her feet again- pushing herself up. Face still healing. She gulped, trying to breathe. The pain subsided and she watched the green chests of the men. Veins webbing out in a sick green. What kind of Kryptonite was this? She noticed it looked off, darker than before. A bluish tint to it. 

She must have been in her thoughts too long. A fist connected with her stomach and she felt the agonizing burn, coupled with the blunt pain of the fist. She was thrown back into the wall. A flurry of fists connecting to any place they could. Each one worse than the last. If there wasn’t internal damage before. There was going to be now. She could do nothing but take it, sounds escaping her mouth against her will. Her busted lip bleeding again.

The sound of a click filled her ears, and she was left to drop to her knee’s as the men staggered away, howling in pain as the devices beneath their ears and in their chests glitched in and out of life. She gasped in shock and pain but didn’t get to think about it as a pair of hands wrapped around her, throwing one of her arms around their shoulder, and forced her to walk away from the men.

She managed to turn her head amidst a gasp for air and-

“Le-”

“Shut up,” Lena spoke, arm wrapping around her waist, to deposit her next to the desk as she moved to tinker with the black device on her desk, “I need- I need silence. It’s the black body field generator...I think I can- shut them off with it.”

It was a last ditch effort. 

Kara, however, couldn’t decide if she wanted to be mad Lena was still here, or grateful for the help. She felt the crawling burning sickness of Kryptonite through her veins, her face still healing, at least now it was a raw scar. If Lena had seen it she didn’t comment.

Kara struggled but managed to keep herself up, against the wall by the desk and watched Lena’s hands work. She knew, that working on the generator while it was still active was dangerous for Lena but without knowing how it worked or how it was constructed- Kara couldn’t help. If she tried there might have been a chance she could endanger Lena.

Lena was a genius. She’d be- she’d be okay.

Right?

She spoke too soon.

Kara’s eyes were brought towards the men, struggling against their pain.

One of them situated himself on a knee and snarled angrily. He was angling himself just right at Lena, forcing a bright glow to slowly form on his chest. He was going to- Lena-

Before Lena could think, or react even, a blur of soft but dirty red was wrapped around her. Her back pressed against a surface, what she guessed was a wall of some kind. She froze almost instantaneously as she felt an unnatural heat around her. It was different from the body she could tell was in front of her, hovering. A scream of frustration sounding in her ears, despite the cape around her. A scream of pain. Something she wouldn’t forget.

What she couldn’t see, was Kara’s body covering her as if she wasn’t sure the cape would truly withstand the Kryptonite. As if she wasn’t sure it would be enough. Like she needed to be the shield to keep her safe. Her hands dug into the wall, unable to hold back the scream. 

She fought back against the pressure of the blast, unwilling to risk hurting Lena with whatever force it could throw her forward at. She could feel her suit burning, as well as her back. It hurt. There was so much that just...hurt. Worse than a broken arm. Worse than the damage Kryptonite usually could do.

Normally, it would seep into her veins, steal her strength. Fall to her knees. She’d feel ill. So ill. Sick to her stomach.

This was a burn, that felt like what she could only guess would be a flame. If she had focused on the smell? She might have vomited. Her mind went back and forth between Lena, was Lena, okay, she wasn’t moving- and, it hurt.

_Stop._ _It hurts, stop, please._

It stopped, the device on the desk, as well as the energy exerted- as either of them could guess knocked one out. The other still fighting to free himself. To stand up. For a moment until he too toppled over.

Kara was left shaking where she stood, slumped forward, unable to do anything else. Tears rolled down her cheeks. Her mind was so...she didn’t know if she could speak let alone react vocally to the pain. Her body fighting to repair itself, unlike her face, this was more- she needed the sun. Her body needed help.

Lena pulled the cape from over her head, letting it fall to the ground. Ready to snap at the hero in front of her. She paused as she took in the damage done. Smoke rose off of the back of the hero, and Lena didn’t know why but her heart...it sank. Hands moving to lightly touch the hero’s back and Kara let out a sharp gasp of pain, crying out, Lena pulled her hands back instantly and just stared.

“Why?” She finally asked, uncertain of...why a hero would-

“I prom-promised,” Kara managed, her voice not there, but she forced the words out.

“No, you-”

“Promised- you I’d-” she paused, trying to take in a breath, “promised I’d always- always protect. You. Always- b-be there.”

Lena’s eyes widened in fear, tears filling them instantly. Pieces connected inside her mind instantly.

She remembered. How could she forget? Kara would repeat her promise during the moments Lena struggled the most to push forward. It had been months and she still- she still struggled. Kara was still there.

Kara smiled slowly, though still shaking, as she caught the realization on Lena’s face. She didn’t smile because this was the pain she wanted, she smiled because Lena finally knew. She knew. Kara didn’t have to hide it anymore. J’onn and Alex could kill her later if there was a later. Out of everyone...Lena was the one who needed to know the most.

She felt her knees buckling, unable to continue standing anymore and so she fell to her knees with a cry of pain, sharp intake of breath, and in an instant, Lena moved with her. She felt hands wrap around her head and bring her gently to Lena’s chest, willing Kara to let Lena take most of her weight. So she did. She stopped trying to be strong and just fell forward into Lena. Neither cared about Lena’s white dress, neither cared about the blood staining it.

Lena moved backward, allowing Kara to lay down, her head in Lena’s lap as the CEO sat back crossing her legs. The warmth and comfort Lena tried to give despite her audible sobs and cries, was enough to make her sigh in relief for just a moment. Everything hurt after. It all hurt so much and she couldn’t-

How could Lena have missed it? How could she not have seen it? Kara was the kindest person, the bravest. She felt so...lost and stupid. Every time she could sense the hurt rolling off of Supergirl, did Kara at least know Lena hadn’t meant to hurt her? Hadn’t meant to avoid her eyes?

Lena’s heart broke.

Why was Kara so goddamn good?

Why did she save her and not herself?

_ Why did she choose Lena? _

Lena didn’t let herself think that it was for the same reason she chose Kara. She didn’t let the rest of those pieces continue to click into place. She couldn’t- not with Kara in her lap like this.

“-you- sa--fe?” It came out almost incoherent. 

Lena did her best to hold back further sobs as she ran fingers through Kara’s hair, to answer, trying to think of HOW to help.

“Yes darling...I’m fine, you saved me,” a sob broke from her throat, “I wished you hadn't. Look at you. Look at what you did for me. Oh Kara,” she cried again.

She felt Kara’s cheek move against her leg and saw blue eyes glance up at her. Something swimming in them. Something she couldn’t quite name.

“I’m- I’m not,” a hand tried to find one of hers, Lena was quick to cover it with her own, “Will. Always. Ch- choose. Y- you.”

Another broken sob released from her lips and she couldn’t stop it. She was utterly powerless against it. She moved her hand so their fingers entwined.

“How do I help you? Darling, please...please give me a clue,” it was a quiet beg, that Lena felt was almost entirely useless. 

“-Alex- ear-”

“Your sister?” She felt a soft nod against her leg and saw a hand come up to try and tap an ear. 

“Piece.”

Ear piece! Lena carefully moved hair from Kara’s ear and found it. A small black earpiece.

The last thing Kara could hear before darkness overtook her vision as pain reared up again, was Lena speaking.

“I- I- Alex? It’s- it’s Kara- no. She’s hurt- badly. Please...I know who she is- I just- please. L-Corp,” a pause, “No- Kara keep your eyes open. Please! For me? Don’t-”

Everything was dark.

 

**XXXXXX**

 

Kara couldn’t move, she couldn’t think. There was irony in that wasn’t there? She was stuck inside her mind. In a pit of black that could be white sometimes. It was just herself, alone. Criss crossed on the floor staring out into nothing, sometimes looking around. She couldn’t figure it out. Why was she stuck here? 

She frowned at the thought.

Sometimes the warmth of familiar hands would appear. She’d feel them in different places. Most times it was her side or her forehead. Like a soft kiss being placed there. Sometimes she’d hear muffled words always drowned out. Never quite reaching her.

Then there was the pain she’d feel on her back. Her neck.

She knew she wasn’t awake. She knew this because she’d bolt awake, screaming, clawing at herself. She’d see flashes of bright lights and hear the shouts of people. It was always when they touched her back. There was an added weight, subtle, but she could feel it. How did she not notice it before?

She was sick- or injured- comatosed. In a world that had nothing. Only brief flashes of being awake.

She just wanted to be awake. Why wouldn’t they let her wake up? Or was it herself that wouldn’t wake up?

The next time she sat up, this time growling in frustration to keep the pain away, she felt an added weight on her lap. She gritted her teeth, hands gripping this weight ready to force it off- throw it aside- it kept grabbing at her hands. Something was in her skin. She had to get it out. She had to claw it if she had to. It was burning and unbearable when she was awake she-

_ “Kara!” _ It came out stern, concerned, and it was so familiar- it grabbed her attention.

She looked up, angrily, into green eyes just as sharp as her own. She found galaxies. Stars. In them. She paused, her grip loosening on Lena’s waist. The pain was there, but she found relief filling her chest distracting her for it. Hands pressed against her shoulder and she was guided to lay back down.

Her hands never left Lena’s waist. Her breathing was still erratic but she laid down willingly. She couldn’t figure out the rest of the room.

Words danced on the tip of her tongue. She had to say them, had to in case she couldn’t later. There was no logical thought in her mind. Just what she felt she had to, was desperate to do, what she was afraid she’d never been able to say or have the courage to despite her hesitation to it before.

_ “I love you,” _ it came out of her lips before she could stop herself.

Lena’s eyes glistened with tears at the words.

The pain reared again. At first, she whimpered. It intensified and she cried out, sitting back up, but was met with arms pulling her in. Head resting against Lena’s chest. Her grip on Lena tightened, hands moving to wrap around her. It probably hurt. All she could do was think about the  _ pain. _

“I’m sorry,” was muttered into the top of her head, as she felt something tickle the back of her mind.

Darkness took her again.

 

**XXXXXX**

 

“Lena,” the soft voice was enough to gather her attention, she glanced up into the mirror and found Alex there, “thank you.”

She scoffed and focused back on her hands she was washing for the millionth time. Or so it seemed. It always happened every time she touched Kara. She could feel the blood there. She could still feel the blood. She could still see it. She didn’t like it.

She never would.

“I mean it,” Lena didn’t reply, she heard a sigh, “alright. You can be a stubborn asshole if you want.”

There was a pause. Alex turned. Lena spoke before she left.

“I did what- anyone else would.”

“You straddled her, nearly thrown, just so you could help her. Not many would do that.”

“Then they’re idiots.”

Alex laughed in agreement but leaned against the doorway. She saw why Kara liked her so much.

“Yeah, I agree. Her powers are still barely returning, even so, she’s ridiculously strong. Only you would risk it to help Kara,” it sounded a teasing joke, but there was a hidden layer of truth beneath it Lena could hear.

She didn’t want to think about it.

She just wanted- she just wanted to be back at Kara’s side or working on an improved sunbed. She’d been working on ideas. Her laptop by Kara’s bed with J’onns input, Alex’s help from time to time, Winn’s tweaks, and even Mon-El’s memory of how a few alien technologies worked. At first, she tried the AI, Alex had directed her to it, but it wouldn’t comply to anyone, not Kara. It had only asked her if she wanted to see the most recently recorded information.

She sighed, jaw locking.

“She’ll live, Lena. She’ll be alright.”

_ “I know,” _ Lena snapped, “but the Kryptonite- the things it’s done to her. Hindered her progress just a little longer- my mother and brother did that.”

She felt a hand on her shoulder, and to Alex’s credit, she seemed unbothered by the snap she’d received.

“Which is not your fault. She’s still healing, and-” she paused, “and- I know you want her to heal as much as I do without pain. In an instant. It’s just not going to happen this time. We have to keep her where she is. She has to-”

“I know- I just- I know,” Lena sighed, lump forming in her throat.

She was pulled into an embrace before she could question it. She didn’t. She just allowed herself to hug Alex back.

“How are you staying so strong?”

Another pause before the truth.

“I’m not. I just don’t cry unless I’m alone or at home. If I cry everyone knows I’m broken and scared, someone has to look strong for everyone else.”

Lena simply shook her head.

“What can we do?” She asked softly.

“You can continue to work on your project, J’onn continues to question the men, Winn tries to hack their devices, and I- I try to analyze the Kryptonite,” Lena sighed and nodded, “if I can figure out how she made it so strong, so different, I’ll be able to figure out how to ease her pain at least. Future protection against it.”

“I hate her.”

“I hate Lillian too.”

“I hate him.”

“I do too.”

“I- Alex I-.”

“Kara  _ does _ love you too.”

There was a silence as Lena let it all soak in. She couldn’t stop herself from wanting to scream. Kara loved her, and she knew, god how she knew. It’s what pushed Kara to defend and protect her so willingly. So valiantly. Love was strong. It was also foolish.

“I don’t think I ever really loved him, Jack,” she confessed, as Alex pulled back confused, “I did- just not like that. I think he knew too, towards the end. I think I knew who she was before she-” she choked, “-it’s why I chose her. I knew and I-”

“It’s why she chose you.”

Lena nodded sadly.

“I just want her to be okay. I just want my goddamn mother to stop, I want the world to stop I-”

“Hey,” Alex’s voice was stern enough to cause her eyes to snap up, “let’s stop thinking about what we  _ want  _ and focus on what she  **needs.** Okay? We love her, we’ll do what we can.”

Lena nodded and Alex smiled, reminiscent of Kara’s sad smiles. She felt another lump form.

 

**XXXXXX**

 

_ “We think she had a reaction to the medication we were feeding her when she was virtually powerless.” Alex had spoken around her. _

_ J’onn crossed his arms and gave a short stiff nod. _

_ “What have we gathered on the Kryptonite used on the Daxamites?” He asked gruffly. _

_ “Nothing,” Winn spoke up, reading over reports quickly, “I- I- mean we can’t touch it. From what we’ve seen, are seeing, it’s burning them up from the inside. We can’t touch the cores on their chest without getting hurt. You put them in the Tamarean glass cells, it seems to be holding up against their attempts to escape but-” _

_ “They’re dying,” Alex interjected. _

_ “What do you mean they’re dying?” Maggie asked, confused. _

_ Lena closed her eyes, bringing a knee to her chest in the chair she sat at. Still by Kara’s side. She hadn’t moved a bit. Unable and unwilling to. Kara’s hand sat neatly on her lap, and Lena stared at it as she opened her eyes and spoke. _

_ “They’re burning up, Detective Sawyer,” she felt eyes on her, “likely, meant to be a time bomb for the DEO. They were ordered to kill Kara and kidnap me. Whatever Lillian and Lex did...they’ve used alien technology. They were affected by my black body field generator. I theorize mother didn’t care about keeping them alive. She wanted them as dangerous as possible. Remember Corbin? Metallo?” _

_ “It’s origins are from Kryptonite. Stronger methods of neutralizing-” _

_ “But,” Lena turned her head, to stare at Alex's head on, “that’s just it isn’t it? No one has really figured out how to neutralize Kryptonite. Locking it up isn’t neutralizing it. There’s nothing to turn it from a potent weapon into just...a rock.” _

_ Alex shifted on her feet, arms crossed, staring at the ground. Lena had a point. She had several actually. _

_ “Isn’t it out of her system though? Why do you need to neutralize it now?” James asked, from beside Winn. Confused. _

_ “Because, Mr. Olsen,” she turned her eyes to him, “it was strong enough to affect her. If it’s strong enough to do that- imagine what it could do in the future if made into weapons. This is a different type of Kryptonite, altered, heavily. With Lex out of prison...there’s a probability for them to make stronger altered-K. The more it’s altered the more dangerous it is to any Kryptonian so far.” _

_ He nodded in understanding, she continued. _

_ “So what do you suggest we do?” J’onn asked she rose a brow at him, “you’re the smartest of us. You know more than we do.” _

_ She nodded and thought for a moment. _

_ “Alright then. We should- we should get started. Firstly, disable the Daxamites, try to safely remove their power source.” _

 

**XXXXXX**

 

The air was quiet. At least for now. As Lena had come to understand, to know, the DEO never really stayed quiet for long. CADMUS was still trying to either obtain Supergirl’s body or kill her. They’d made two attempts so far, and both times had left Lena with an unsure itching paranoia- she didn’t leave Kara’s side unless Alex or someone she actually trusted was there, even then she didn’t leave for long, there was a gun at her side as well. Alex had convinced J’onn for her it was a good idea and she knew how to handle a weapon.

She had to admit, that at least everyone at the DEO seemed to adore their fallen hero. Most were willing to go out and take a beating for her. Others were willing to find safe houses for her. Out of all of it- there were stray agents who had come to talk to her with no ill intentions. They just wanted to know the woman that their coworker and friend had fallen for.

Apparently, Kara would gush about her, a fact that made her smile sadly when asked. There were still those that had apprehensions about her, but she had submitted to J’onn mind probing, opened L-Corp up to them completely as long as it meant she could just be with Kara. That had gotten her respect from even the ones who watched her closely.

She met Pam in HR. A nice woman who adored Kara and instantly adored her, Kara’s fault, and had offered to get her anything she needed. She’d been the one to request another bed be placed in med-bay so she could sleep in the same room as Kara on the nights she felt fear course through her at the thought of leaving her- friend?

There was Todd who worked with Winn, he was more of an analyst but had taken what Lena knew of the new Kryptonite and was working on a new algorithm to catch any traces of it In case with Winn. It was smart, and he rambled on and on about how brilliant she was. He was nice.

There was Susan who worked with Alex and J’onn, she was Alex’s right-hand woman. She was married, surprisingly to an alien woman. Married just this year. She offered stories of times when her wife, R’a, was worried about her. Moments to get her mind off of things. She lent her advice on several things as well. How to crack a nose with a fist, how to kill someone with a spoon, even what kind of wine went best with Italian.

Oddball, was something else. Oddball was not their real name, but the nickname stuck and they liked it. They were smiles with an edged hardness that told you they were definitely a soldier. They had a prosthetic leg. Taken years back by a white martian before J’onn had found them, so now they were a strategist for the DEO. Kept quite a few teams alive, mostly Alex when Alex first started. They never pushed. She liked them.

So there was plenty to like at the DEO, she just didn’t like the silence. Or the paranoia they believed her evil still.

The current silence was cut off, however, by the clearing of a throat.

She looked up shocked and found Todd standing there with a sheepish smile. He pushed his big round glasses back up on his nose, hand combing through brunette side shaved hair, and he waited patiently.

She returned his smile and nodded from her spot in the chair, holding Kara’s hand, and moved to sit up properly with a soft yawn.

“Hi Miss Lena,” he stood there, shifting the tablet in his hands, “I just wanted to come check on you.”

“I’m fine, Mr. Kenz,” she replied politely.

He scrunched his nose but nodded and looked down at the screen of his tablet.

“Just call me Todd,” he smiled, “I was doing a diagnostics test for this uh- floor- and I saw you,” no further explanation was needed, “I’m not supposed to say this, ‘cause I’m working but...I work here because of you.”

She looked shocked, and offended like she thought he-

“Not like that,” he laughed lightly, “but..it was a few months ago. I worked for L-Corp actually. I met Supergirl after you saved the alien population. I told her what I did and that I wanted to do what both of you did. She had me talk to her boss and I was pulled in. You inspired me, yanno?”

Lena couldn’t reply. She’d never had someone other than Kara admit that she inspired them.

He worked for L-Corp, firstly, and she felt bad she didn’t know him before. Still, he was trying to do good? Within the DEO? She felt both sad about Kara not being able to hear the confession and happy she managed to finally inspire someone in a good way.

She was saved from replying, however, as another voice sounded from the doorway.

“Kenz,” it was Oddball and Maggie, “Agent Danvers wants you.”

He nodded and gave Lena a smile before leaving. She threw her new guests a small thankful smile. They both just shrugged.

Oddball ran a hand through pink hair and moved to the seat opposite hers, there was a noticeable limp. Maggie stood at the foot of Kara’s bed with a small frown but otherwise said nothing, letting the other speak instead.

“How’s she doin’?” Lena squeezed the hand with a small frown.

Lena shrugged.

“Luthor,” Maggie spoke up, giving her a dire look, “how is she doing?”

Lena let out a frustrated sigh.

“The same as she was yesterday,  _ Sawyer. _ Good and then digressing, and then good again,” it was clipped with frustrated anger, “I can’t tell you. Ask the damn doc-”

Oddball dropped a hand onto her shoulder, interrupting her, and gave her a soft sad smile. Maggie gave her a sympathetic smile and Lena- she just wanted cry because of it. Instead, she turned her head away from them as tears threatened to spill from her eyes. She bit back a sob. 

The hand squeezed a little harder.

“Lena-”

“Stop,” she snapped, looking at Maggie, “I just want everyone to stop telling me it’s not my fault. I know her physical pain isn’t. She couldn’t- I- I struggled, after jack to look at Supergirl and not see Jack’s face. I stopped looking. Not because I hated her, I made my choice, but because I knew if I did- I was afraid she’d see me as a murder. Because of me, she couldn’t even tell me who she was.”

She took a breath, and they just listened to her.

“I caused her pain and I didn’t mean to. She took her promise to always protect me, literally, like I should have known and look where she’s ended up. I,” Lena hesitated, looking back at Kara, “I have loved her for awhile.”

“I know.”

She turned her head to stare at Maggie, Maggie only shrugged and smiled.

“I know how it is to fall for a Danvers,” the Detective admitted, “and I haven’t always been the warmest to Litt- to Kara because the ego drives me a little insane, but she’s like this little sister I never got. I know how it is to try and contain that love until they get hurt and you just explode because you’ve kept it in way too long and they’re hurting so you hurt too.”

Lena frowned.

“I’m adopting you, Lena,” Lena blinked in shock, as Maggie moved to stand in front of her, hand cupping the back of her head, “as my own sister. I’m sure as hell gonna love you and protect you  _ both. _ ”

A kiss was placed to her forehead.

Lena openly cried. Oddball held her.

 

**XXXXXX**

 

It wasn’t subtle, in fact, it had been the gut wrenching heartbreaking scream of immense fear was what shook her awake.

Her bones ached as she heard it, the familiarity, and her heart sped up as quickly as she stood up. She clutched her chest with a hand and looked around frantically. The lighting was dim save for the yellow lit sunbed beneath her. 

For a moment she thought she was still inside her mind, unable to move as she was kept under, to keep her still enough to heal- or whatever the reasons were. She’d stopped listening to them, aware no one knew she could  _ hear _ them. She thought the world she had woken up in had to be a nightmare, a way to torture her.

The door to the sunbeds was ajar, the lights flickered, and she could just faintly hear heartbeats and screams. Fighting. Guns. Men. 

**_CADMUS._ **

She took a moment to take in a breath, let her mind settle enough to think clearly- or as clear as possible -so she could  _ focus _ on the source of the scream. Of who her body told her to push forward and protect.

She swung her legs over to the side of the bed, hands rubbing her eyes in frustration. She felt strong but weak, it was so...odd to feel. Looking down, she found herself in nothing but shorts and a gown of sorts. She groaned in frustration. Looking around her eyes landed on a phone, she reached forward in order to grasp it- but it was crushed in her hands.

_ Oh...powers, I have those back. So let's just- _

She hopped off of the bed, struggling to stand for a second. Yeah. Speeding was not an option at the moment, she could launch herself by accident through the building. She took a step forward and- her foot seemed to collide with something. Her eyes cast down and she found a cot, a pillow, blanket, and shirt thrown aside.

She frowned, before filling her lungs again. The smell she knew instantly. It was that of an expensive perfume. Her head tilted as she slowly bent over and grasped Lena’s black Henley off of the cot. It was a little too long for the CEO, but Lena preferred bigger clothes to walk around in.

With the shirt clutched in her hands, she brought it to her chest and closed her eyes. Willing herself to focus.

It was all...cluttered. She focused on Alex first, just as she always would. She honed in on the steady heartbeat, voice barking out orders with Maggie guarding her back. Thank  _ Rao _ they had each other. They'd be- they'd be okay as long as they had each other.

She let out a sigh and the sound of another scream caused her to jump. It sounded like-

_“Stop! Just- stop! They haven't done-”_ **Lena!**

Letting out a growl of frustration, Kara's eyes snapped open. Rational thought wasn't there, as she ripped the gown off, pulling the shirt in her hands on. She roughly kicked the cot aside and stalked towards the door. 

How dare they come to here, to her people, to her family, attack her loved ones. Attack Alex. Attack Jonn. Attack Lena. Her family.

Her mind felt blank, fueled on nothing but anger, pain that still existed, and the pure swell of love in her heart. She couldn't focus on anything but that voice though not exactly hearing everything it said but words and pieces in hopes it could guide her.

Opening the room door, she stumbled for a moment grasping it. After a second of catching herself, she ripped it off its hinges and left the room.

She let the voice guide her. Down halls, through doors, bits of strength and power were coming back to her along the way. Her mind was hazed though with need as she jogged at a humans pace and crashed through doors rather than opening them. It must have been at least somewhat intimidating to see.

It wasn't until she came upon a room, that CADMUS men were already either incapacitated or crawling away from her as she peered through the window. Her heart sped up and saw  _ her _ . Lena. Standing in front of a CADMUS soldier who pointed their gun at another DEO agent, they argued, Lena tried to plead for the life to be spared.

Then the soldier did something. Something that switched something inside of Kara. Like she was proven right about CADMUS  Lillian, everyone who'd ever tried to harm Lena. They never really knew Lena but claimed they did.

His hand hit Lena's cheek with a hard slap, she turned her head back with an angry glare. Whatever she'd been ready to say was cut off by a hand wrapping around her throat angrily. She couldn't breathe. Her hands came up to grasp the one around her neck as he spoke.

“You think we owe you something? Huh?” No reply, “s’what I thought, traitorous bitch. Your family gives you everything and you side with something so disgusting? You...love it? Then this person who wants to be nothing- well I'll make sure she's nothing-”

“N-no-” she struggled against the hand, “-don’t- t-touch them!”

He chuckled darkly.

“Nah. Just another stuck up bitch,” his hand tightened again, “like you-”

Before he could finish. Before Lena knew what was happening, before the sound of glass finished breaking, her neck was freed from the hand around it. She coughed roughly and leaned forward, her forehead pressing against the back of something as she rubbed at her throat. 

She knew before she looked but it was the sound of the man crying in fear, the body gone from her forehead that made her look up. She still found herself shocked and knew Oddball was staring from the ground too. They both stared. Bewildered. 

There...there was Kara after a week and a half of...not quite waking up, standing in front of them, yelling at a man in Kryptahinou and pressing him against a wall. Even now Kara was protecting  _ her _ . Protecting them. She was acting as a shield and god did Lena want to cry in relief that she was okay. Her eyes watered.

She watched, unsure of what to say or feel. Was Kara okay? Did she know what was happening? Or was she just being lead by instincts? Was she hurt? There was so much to ask, to know, to say. So she ended up speaking the most sure and beautiful word she could.

“Kara?” 

It was soft but loud enough that Kara heard. Kara paused, the man crying tears despite her having switched to English and telling him he was going to be in jail for a long while and turned her head to look at Lena. The barely noticeable orange glow in her eyes faded and an emotion she now had a name for was obvious within her eyes.  _ Like galaxies and stars. _ God, she loved her so much.

“Kara…” It was a soft plead, but Kara understood. Lena needed her.

She pulled the man back and slammed him against the wall just hard enough to knock him out. She dropped him to the ground and turned, fully to face Lena. Taking in the red mark in her cheek, cut on her lip, bruises she could see and a lump formed in her throat.  _ They hurt her. They hurt Lena. Her- _

She took a few steps forwards as Lena held her breath expecting Kara to disappear until Kara leaned forward and pressed their foreheads together. Not moving further away or closer. Trying to keep her space as she returned to herself completely. 

The lack of actually feeling Kara there was too much. Slowly her hands came out and she gently grabbed Kara's wrists and held them as Kara's eyes closed. Lena’s fingers traveled up her arms, shoulders, and her palms came to rest against the Kryptonians cheeks as she pulled back, kissing her forehead lightly, and gave a watery smile as Kara let out a soft sob.

“Y-you're okay,” came out, Lena laughed.

“I should be saying that darling,” Lena commented back. Kara let out another sob, Lena gave a small distressed sound and rubbed Karas cheeks with her thumbs. Hands grasped hers firmly.

Kara was so careful in her touch.

“I thought-”

Kara was cut off by a pair of arms wrapping around her neck and Lena's warmth seeping into her bones. Comforting the torn pieces of her heart that had been ripped over the past few months. Lena was so...good, so right, and so soothing. She could never regret giving so much of herself to her best friend nor loving her as strongly as she did.

Her hands slowly wrapped around Lena, pulling her in as closely as possible. Lena practically sunk into the embrace with a content sigh. Her soul being soothed. Kara was here and she was okay.

“Guys...this is romantic but other people need us, and I need my leg,” Kara pulled away and Oddball gave a tired grin.

Although she hesitated for a second, Kara placed a kiss to Lena's cheek before moving to Oddball.

“Where's everyone else? I heard Alex but I-”

“Probably trying to stay in control of command cent- whoa! Hey!” Oddball gave a surprised hey as Kara lifted them their foot and leaned them against the wall.

She turned around and bent down enough for Oddball to get the idea. They didn't question, only hobbled forward before jumping onto Kara’s back who caught them, resting hands behind on their thighs to hold them in place. They readjusted their position, crossing arms around her neck.

When Oddball was comfortable enough they turned to Lena who was trying to watch her.

“Luth?” Lena rose a brow, “hand me that gun? Set it to stun.”

Lena did as asked, not bothering to question. She picked it up, switched it, then handed it over to them who grinned and held it in a hand crossed over their chest.

“Where are we going?”

“Command-” Before Kara could finish Lena stepped forward.

“Kara, no! That's- you-” Kara opened her mouth to say something, but decided to let Lena continue, “you just woke up! Do you even have all of your powers back at 100%? You're going to get hurt! I can't lose you again! Do you understand that? My heart cannot take it again! I just- I feel so much you and I…”

A pause. No one said anything.

“and I love you, which means I know you. Which means you have to go to help,” Kara smiled softly as Lena moved to stand in front of her, “so I'm going with you two, okay?”

“Stay behind me?” Kara asked.

Lena nodded, Kara smiled softly and let out a teary laugh before leaning forward and tilting her head to the side, nudging the side of Lena’s face with her nose. Lena got the hint and leaned up, giving a chaste kiss. Knowing had it been more they would never have moved. Kara smiled at her and her own bravery to ask for one when she had been so sure before she would have loved her from the shadows.

But Lena loved her.  _ Lena  _ loved  _ her. _ Her heart felt full for now.

“Okay...can we please just-” Oddball motioned towards the door or rather the hole in the glass wall. 

Lena let out a soft laugh and stepped aside allowing Kara to move first with her passenger.

 

**XXXXXX**

 

Two hours, thirteen minutes, ten seconds. Lena’s counted.

That’s how long Kara’s been awake, breathing, and walking around. She falters every once in awhile, but for the most part, she did well walking through the halls with another person on her back. Despite Odd’s arguments about being set down Kara never did. She kept going and enduring. 

Lena stayed true to her word, she stood behind them watching them both. Adding in commentary or trying to convince both to stop when crowds of CADMUS became heavier. Neither did. Not even when she hunkered down behind a door as the firing started. 

Two hours, fifteen minutes. Lena’s counted.

The fact Kara is up at all feels almost like a miracle. It shouldn’t feel like it’s been months, and yet it does. It feels like months since she’s seen vibrant blue eyes staring at her. Months since Kara’s sacrificed herself.

_ It is sacrifice,  _ Lena thinks, in that Kara’s sacrificed herself to pain and injury just  _ for her. _ Lena didn’t want this for her. She never wanted that. The most she’s ever wanted from Kara is for what she that was unrequited feelings to be given a sign that it wasn’t unfounded to think they might be returned. Not after everything they’ve been through together.

Like a part of her was ripped from her chest from seeing Kara’s blood on her hands, clothes, and her office floor, there was a sudden fullness of her heart like a sudden breath of fresh air that came with seeing Kara walking. That came with the memories of lips brushing against each other.

There was a fullness that came with remembering the confession falling from her lips, despite the question that- was it impulsive? -she still felt the fullness. Like she could believe in the sureness of Kara’s voice despite the pain in it.

She loved Kara and she was loved back.

Two hours, twenty minutes, fifty-nine seconds.

She’s counted every minute since seeing Kara up. Since seeing her slowly regain herself, since seeing her smile aimed at her. Yet it still didn’t feel like enough.

Her shout of a warning even as the round object rolled into the room, Kara and Alex in its sights as she helped Oddball fix the temporary new prosthetic from Winn’s desk as he asked for dimensions for a newer  _ improved _ leg built by the two of them. Something they had thought up on the spot.

The object’s shine was enough for her head to whip in that direction, pausing, and she recognized it almost instantly. Her eyes latched onto Alex and Kara sharing a serious talk, expressions serious. 

It was death. 

She saw red even as she raced to her feet, pointing at it, and screaming as loud as she could.

_ “ALEX!” _

Alex’s head whipped to her, seeing her hand, and saw what she pointed at. Her eyes widened in fear, reaching forward to pull Kara with her.

“Grenade! Get d-”

The warning never finished, not even as Lena raced forward grabbing the closest agent and yanking them with her, under her, as it went off. The heat felt hotter than it was and perhaps it was due to the emotional impact it took. She landed hard against the agent below her, but they were fine. Even with the shock of the grenade hitting them.

It took a few seconds but like a chain of events, a set of smaller explosions could be heard throughout the room. She guessed it was a delayed reaction or perhaps CADMUS trying to blow the power, but monitors blew as did other devices.

Lena rolled off of the agent and onto her stomach, coughing as she pushed herself up to her knees.  _ What the fuck was mother thinking? _ She asked herself.

Raising her head up, she found Kara on her back, burnt clothes, struggling to try and sit up let alone move. Out of panic, she moved as fast as she could in a crawl towards her. She might have heard shouts of her name but she couldn’t hear them that well, not with her own voice filling her mind. Shouting all of her fears at once. Telling her to stop this was it, her mother was going to win.

Her body moved in alignment with her own rebellion, with her own heart always aching and urging her further towards the Kryptonian. She gritted her teeth and continued, falling flat on her stomach the moment a gunshot could be heard, mostly on instinct before she continued to move. Ignoring the sound of the Glock let alone the shots hitting the floor around her.

The moment Kara was close enough, she covered the Kryptonian with her own body until the shooting stopped.

The gunners gun jammed, everyone else was scrambling for weapons or trying to pull others out of the line of fire. Lena happened a glance around and found a gun lying next to Alex, who was laying on her front. She pushed herself up for a moment and peered down at Kara whose eyes threatened to flicker shut for a moment before opening.

Lena patted her cheeks a few times, causing Kara to look up at her barely focusing.

“Hey! Hey. Kara, stay with me, darling!” She exclaimed Kara focused on her a little better, “are you with me? Kara?”

Kara nodded, though not smiling, before turning her head to find her sister. She tried to reach a hand out towards her but was unable. Lena pulled her hand and gave the youngest Danvers a soft kiss on her mouth before turning to find the gunman aiming straight at Alex. Probably the most in his mind was to take at least another with him if he should go down.

He was panicking, trying to decide, but Lena was faster as she saw him slowly squeeze the trigger. She rolled off of Kara and grasped the gun in both hands as she aimed at him, her hand shaking slightly. She didn’t hesitate before squeezing the trigger.

The next thing you’d expect would be a deafening silence, an end to the violence, but there wasn’t. The gun dropped from the man’s hands as he cried out, dropping to the floor, clutching his leg. She’d managed to be accurate enough to miss anything important in his lower leg.

With that, she dropped the gun and was on her knee’s turning Alex over. There was a sudden swell of emotions at the image of Alex being gone. Alex had been there for her, the first aside from Kara, from the DEO to believe her innocent. Unlike her family. She had never said it but Lena knew. Lena knew she cared enough to adopt her in the way the Danvers adopted people with love and care.

Even if Alex never said it.

She shook Alex with a trembling voice, “Alex? Alex! Come on. Wake up! Kara’s here, Kara’s okay. You have to be okay. Goddamn it! You can’t just make me care then do this! Maggie adopted me remember? I’m going to be your future sister-in-law, you-”

“Oh Jesus,” Alex coughed, turning her head and cracking her eyes open as she gave a small smug smile, “you’re an annoying sister. You know that? I’m alive, it’s just hard keeping my eyes open,” she took a painful breath, “let alone fucking talking. Oh fuck, I think I have bruised ribs.”

Lena let out a broken watery laugh as she slumped forward, pressing a sloppy kiss to Alex’s dirty forehead. Alex made a grunt and shoved her away lightly playfully, she exaggerated the shove falling back onto her back between the sisters with a grunt of pain.

“Please don’t hurt my- uh- friend,” Kara warned as lightly as she could though amused. Alex laughed which turned into a coughing fit, “and don’t hurt yourself.”

“Your friend? Is she a gal pal now too? Jesus Kara, just ask her out because as cute as it seeing you stumble around your words around Lena but fuck that’s awkward so-”

“Girlfriend,” Lena interrupted, patting Kara’s hand lightly, “girlfriend is just fine-”

“Of course she-”

They were both cut off by the sound of a violent cough coming from Kara who groaned in pain. Lena sat up and leaned over her, Kara groaned again and tried to bring a hand up to stroke her cheek but Lena grasped it and held it in her hand. Alex looked over and tried to shift herself to sit up.

“I don’t feel so good, Alex…” Kara groaned again.

“We need to get you to the balcony, shit Kara you look- ah! Fuck!” Alex grunted in pain, unable to sit herself up with the pain becoming too much.

Lena turned and laid a hand on Alex’s shoulder, but before she could say anything Alex did her best to pull another grenade from her belt and held it up. This was different from the others, it was a sleek black. A more futuristic design of panels and designs, in the cracks a yellow light seemed to move like a golden river. Lena blinked in confusion.

“It’s a sun grenade, J’onn and Winn designed it. I carry at least one with me now, it won’t hurt her. It’s called a sun grenade, trust me it’ll be like a burst of overcharged sun energy. It’s not enough to overpower her, just to give her a boost and hopefully have her to her old self.”

“Why didn’t you use it before?” Lena asked, curious.

“Because it’s still a grenade with a concussive force. It’s not like a regular one. It’s also based off of the sun, that coupled with whatever was inhibiting her from healing? I couldn’t risk it. It would have only worsened her condition but now that she’s up...so-to-speak?” Lena nodded, understanding, “I need you to drag her as far to the balcony as you can. Minimize the damage, get your ass back over here then I throw it, she’s fine.”

Lena chewed her lip, her skepticism showing, “What if it-”

“In theory, it should.”

“In theory?”

Alex let out a sigh of frustration. Then began to cough, grasping Lena’s arm and gave her a serious look.

“They caught us by surprise Luthor- ah fuck-” she lowered her voice in hopes it wouldn’t hurt as much, “that’s the only reason our asses were kicked. We need her right now even if she’s just got up. It sucks- fuck me- I know it does but it’s  _ our _ job, she’s the best we have right now, so I need you to- I need you to please let her go for right now. Help me save the lives of everyone else?” Lena’s throat constricted, Alex’s grip softened as did her expression, “I know you’re scared, Lena. I am too but I'm begging-”

Before Alex could finish, Lena was on her feet and moving to stand just in front of Kara’s head. Alex didn’t question it either, she just watched as Lena bent down and took Kara into her arms, dragging her backward with as much strength as she could. She had taken a leap and decided to trust Alex.

Alex saw it, perhaps it was a little late, but she saw what made her gravitate towards Lena after getting to know her. There was a hidden selflessness hardly anyone could possess in what she was doing. It was completely uncertain to Lena, she could have calculated the odds first but she didn’t. She moved without thought or uncertainty. Like she’d already chosen.

It made her wonder for a moment, did Lena really not see it? Did no one else see the hero she was seeing? There was so much goodness in her. Is this what Kara saw in her? Or was it all mixed in with the galaxies that twinkled in her eyes when they so much as looked at each other?

It was pure. Unbridled. Love.

If anything, today cemented that and how much of a hero Lena was, despite the facade of a businesswoman. There was always a depth of warmth and care there people would notice if they just looked.

Lena laid Kara down, though hesitating before lifting Kara’s head into her lap with a soft smile. She tried not to cry again but the day had been nothing but emotionally exhausting on her. The last couple of weeks had. The world was too much, crushing against her, and here Kara was. Here she was, temporarily letting go because people needed Kara more than she did.

Her hands cupped Kara’s cheeks even as the Kryptonian groaned, Lena’s thumbs ran across her cheeks, she smiled despite tears dripping onto Kara’s face.

“We have a lot to talk about, yes?” She let out a soft laugh, “I love you. So please don’t do this again. I know you’re a hero- I know people need you, I will always understand, but I need you to come back to me this time. Deal?”

Kara only grunted in acceptance. 

With that, Lena placed a kiss to her forehead and softly laid her back on the ground before scurrying back to Alex. She watched Alex pull the pin, toss the grenade, and pulled Lena down into her. Covering her face.

_ “COVER YOUR EYES!”  _ It was an  **order.**

The room turned a bright yellow, for a moment it might have looked like pure happiness or pure pain. Depending on your view.

The last thing to be heard was the door being shoved open, more of CADMUS came rushing in screaming orders for everyone to stay down.

_ Lillian did this. _

 

**XXXXXX**

 

There was an irony probably in this, but Kara couldn’t seem to care. Not as she let herself fall onto her couch, slouching back with a tired groan. She hadn’t even bothered to change out of her tattered clothes. The only addition was she had gone from shorts to at least sweats upon Alex’s request after she’d finished either throwing goons across the room or chasing them away.

J’onn had come up from the lower levels of the DEO, having evacuated as many as he could, protecting the others, and battered to agree with Alex she should go home and rest despite her questions about where Lena was. 

She could tell no one really knew. Lena had just disappeared. Alex knew something more than she’d let on, but not enough to tell her where Lena was and that was all she could fathom to care about. She was exhausted even with the boost of the grenade. Her body screamed for relief or proper sleep in a proper bed without the constant pain of her back or the metal of the sunbed beneath her.

Her heart wanted nothing more than to take Lena in her arms, confess the depth of how she felt, to be sure of what Lena wanted, and sleep with her best friend pressed against her chest knowing she’d wake the next day with beautiful green eyes smiling at her lovingly. 

Lena wasn’t here, however, and neither was her will to move from the couch to the bedroom. She’d had enough of being thrown around for at least a day let alone walking places. If Alex did come by later she’d find Kara asleep on the couch, relaxed against it just like this, at this point. She couldn’t help but let herself chuckle lightly at the idea. 

The pain and injuries of the previous few hours and weeks were gone. All the physical ones at least. Heart and emotional was a different story. She still worried.

Everything flashed beneath her eyelids. Daxam Metallo’s, the confession of I love you, Lena’s own, Alex’s relief she was okay, Maggie’s hug and reassurance she’d stay with Alex and promise to drag her home when it came time. Alex would be fine in her hands. J’onn’s long embrace and whispered words of reassurance everything would be fine, though mostly spoken to reassure himself, she held him back just as tightly. Eliza’s phone call and promise of dropping by when she could buy a ticket.

Her heart felt heavy for a moment despite finally being awake and the tiredness in her bones. She knew that once she was truly okay, she’d be more than likely asked to explain herself. Though not out of a place of anger just concern, and curiosity about why CADMUS seemed to be actively man hunting her down. Shoving the DEO into a corner in which they couldn’t move HQ because they couldn’t really move her.

She felt guilty about that, mostly for the immense worry she caused by being out like she had. No one quite understood what had actually inhibited her healing abilities for as long as it had, but they guessed the altered-K had several side effects.  _ That _ being one, prolonged exposure would have given her permanent scarring more than likely. Might have even killed her. She was lucky Lena was a genius.

Lena,  _ Lena,  _ **_Lena._ **

She clenched her jaw. Unable to keep thoughts away from that something had happened to her, that something might have. She hadn’t been up a day and Lena wasn’t there- not that Lena was obligated to be there, but just that...she wanted her to. It felt selfish, especially with Lena having been by her side for the past two weeks. She hadn’t been awake really to enjoy it.

The confessions danced on her tongue again and all she wanted to do was tell her so Lena could be sure of how Kara felt about because it had been such a close call to everyone...there might not ever be another chance to  _ do it _ . She didn't want to waste opportunities anymore, she didn’t want to waste time.

She wasn’t completely free of uncertainty but the willingness to be free enough to try and have this, if Lena wanted it, was enough to quiet down her uncertainties for now. She knew it wouldn’t last forever. But god she loved Lena so much.

Knock. Knock. Knock. Knock.

A smile formed on her lips as her head turned towards the door, eyes opening.

“Come in Lena!” She shouted as loud as she could. 

The door slowly opened and Lena stepped in, a small smile playing on her lips.

“How did-”

“You’re the only one who actually knocks anymore, and when you do you  _ always _ knock four times. No more, no less,” Kara nodded surely.

Lena let out a chuckle and stepped inside further, closing the door behind her, stopping at the table to set her purse down for a moment. 

It was then that Kara took her in and noticed what shouldn’t be there. There were extra bruises, cuts, from the day's adventures that she hadn’t seen before. Then again she hadn’t been able to properly take her in had she? These looked fresh, however, and it was enough to give her a burst of energy surprising even Lena as she was on her feet, staring concernedly as her eyes took in Lena in full.

“Darling you should be laying down-” Lena tried.

“What happened to you?” Kara asked, moving around her couches, the extra addition having been one of Maggie’s old ones, and moving towards Lena who looked away.

Lena mumbled something, something like  _ it’s nothing I promise, _ but it wasn’t very truthful or effective. Kara could see through it and into the pain building beneath her eyes as she tried to deny it. Perhaps it was another superpower, one they both shared in common, but she could see it.

So Kara only shook her head and stepped forward softly like she was waiting for Lena to tell her not to come any closer before she reached forward slowly and took Lena’s hands in her own. Lena’s head dropped to the floor between them as she held back a sob. Kara tugged her closer slightly, reassuring her she could talk when she wanted because she wouldn’t be pressured into it. Kara understood.

Kara always understood.

So they stood there for awhile until Lena was ready to speak.

“It was my mother,” Lena confessed, “we fought. I mean- we always fight and she always won...but this was the first physical fight and I won.”

“Are you-”

“Yeah I’m okay,” Lena smiled, looking up at her for a moment before her eyes dropped back down, “I just- I told her it had to stop. It was a fight for survival like every goddamn day was with her but...obviously I won didn’t I? Lex wasn’t there, however. She’s at the DEO and he’s still out there.” Her eyes watered, the self-doubt surfaced.

“Hey,” Kara spoke softly, lifting Lena’s chin up so they were eye-to-eye, she smiled softly, “you did so good. I know it hurts and it will for awhile but I’m- I love you, I’ll be here for you okay?”

Lena slumped forward into Kara resting her forehead on her shoulder as hands wrapped loosely around the Kryptonian. Kara returned the gesture, burying Lena in her arms and warmth, her cheek resting against the top of Lena’s head and couldn’t help but just hold her. Giving her as much comfort as she could within the silent moment.

For everything, Luthor stood for according to Lex and Lillian, Lena had done ten fold it’s opposite. Ten fold the amount anyone would have ever expected out of her. She wasn’t a self-righteous person, she wasn’t a self-preserved person, she wasn’t a villain. There was a heavy weight on Lena’s shoulders she would  _ always _ carry by choice because no one else should and while Kara would want to say it was admirable she was willing to take some onto her shoulders when need be.

She had been doing the exact same thing for the past fourteen years. The weight, much to no one’s knowledge, it grew every year under the guise of being Supergirl. Under the title of reporter. Maybe it was one of the gravitating qualities about Lena. To understand what no one else could, even Alex though she understood as much as she could, that that weight was indescribable. Painfully lonely at times because there was no one who could understand it in full.

Even so the people she’s met, they have helped ease the pain of that burden. Lena included, especially her. Kara only hoped she could return that.

So she spoke.

“I never meant to keep it from you,” it was soft.

Lena pulled back and attempted to wipe her eyes as she spoke, “No. Kara I- I just can’t do this now please-”

She was cut off by Kara taking her hands from her face, cupping her cheeks, and looking directly into them with the softest smile she could manage in this situation. She leaned forward and placed a kiss gingerly to her forehead.

“ _ That _ is not what I mean. We can- we can talk about Supergirl another day,” with a soft tug to a hand, she guided Lena to sit on one of the couches as she knelt in front of her, “I meant...how I felt in full, about you.”

Lena squeezed her hand despite the softening of her features turning into something sad as if she was about to say something. Kara desperately beat her to the punch.

“See...Lena, I have loved you for so long. We’ve known each other almost a year and a half and-” Kara took a deep breath, “I didn’t want how I felt to ruin what I had with my best friend. I was and always will be so happy to just have known you, it’s why I was so okay to di-” Lena let out a sob at the memory, “because I got to have you as my friend. Because I got to love you, even if I was too scared to say it how I meant it.”

“How- how could you do that to me?” Lena asked softly, eyes tearing up, “I held you in my arms. I almost watched you almost die in my hands and all I could think is- what if she never wakes up? What if she bleeds out right here and this is the end of it? How will I not let this destroy me? Haven’t I lost enough people?”

Kara remained silent for a moment, but tears quietly rolled down her own cheeks as she bit her lip. Speaking a moment later,

“Lena- I’m...I’m sorry I didn’t realize you might need to hear it more than I needed to keep us  _ intact _ . I didn’t realize-” she choked down a sob and let out a laugh of near hysteria at herself, “oh Rao I’m such a mess up. I can’t make excuses. I want you to know that I’ve been falling and have fallen for you so hard you’ve captured every part of my soul in your magnificent light. I don’t care if the world hates us today or tomorrow or yesterday I will always love you. I have. You have it. You have me. It’s us.”

Lena’s mouth moved but no words came out. She couldn’t talk without her crying becoming hearable, something she wasn’t sure she could stand to take in at the moment. Instead, she clutched her mouth with a hand and turned her head away from Kara who never let go of her hand only shifted to sit beside her. Arms wrapped around her and she let the warmth settle in around her.

The sadness of her mother's long standing betrayal of hopes that perhaps there was something that could be fixed only grew as the love in her heart for Kara grew to outweigh that pain. A pain that would never go away even with her mother in a jail cell, but there was hope for a time for it to ease in the future. She knew that was possible. It had eased with Lex years ago too. If only Lillian had given him up too.

Neither moved from their spot on the couch. Neither talked further. The only words spoken were a quiet admission that the love felt, that touched their souls, it was irrevocable. It was such a precious thing. It couldn’t be ignored. For tonight though? They were happy to keep it unspoken even as they shifted to lay on the couch, Lena on Kara’s chest able to hear her heartbeat, and Kara dragging a quilt over them before slumber reached them.

The soft embrace and comforting warmth that surrounded them expanded to the entirety of the apartment in a matter of minutes like it was a safe warm place they were protected in. They felt lucky no one barged in to break that atmosphere this time. 

Kara’s arms seemed to enclose just a little tighter around Lena as the Luthor slept against her. Her mind took a little longer to settle to the point of sleep being possible but having what had given her heart a piece of itself back despite the trauma inflicted upon it, sleeping against her? She felt safe enough to let herself go.

She knew she’d wake up the next day, she wouldn’t leave Lena or Alex alone that long again. She couldn’t do that to them. She refused to. 

_ Maybe they had it all wrong, maybe a soulmate wasn’t who was made for  _ **_you_ ** _ but who you loved with all your soul. _

 

**XXXXXX**

 

Alex gave her sister a look from across the table, brows shooting up in surprise. When Kara had called and asked for a call she thought it might have been about time off, time to further recuperate with Lena but this- this was the farthest thing she’d expected. It wasn’t in a...bad way either just shocking if you asked her, just a little...odd because she’d never talked about  _ this _ before.

Growing up, Alex was the romantic ironically. Even through adulthood, she was. Kara had always loved  _ love _ and the prospect of finding it but she was never really romantic. She never dreamed of being swept off of her feet or having a big wedding and kids she just liked the ideas but never dreamt about them. Like they would be nice but were never in her peripheral.

On earth, Soulmate was indefinitely romanticised. The perfect match, someone made so perfectly for you they had to be their your perfect match. They were destined to hold your heart in their hands and nothing would ever go wrong again so long as you held them in your arms at night. It was a lovely idea many wished to be true, even Alex at one point though she’d never admitted to it. 

Soulmate was your missing piece of your soul.

“Yes,” Kara nodded, leaning forward to stare at her sister.

Alex gawked for a moment before she found herself enough to speak.

“So what you’re saying is...your people never believed in love coming first but you believed in soulmates?” Kara nodded, “You realize how...weird that sounds right? Like- Kara you  _ never _ were a romantic but this-”

Kara sighed in frustration.

“They were never really soulmates to us! Not in the way you know them, it was...it was an excuse for the matches, one I believe in but- that story about the woman-”

“-you think it’s you?”

Kara pursed her lips and shook her head after a moment but Alex saw the slight hesitation. This entire conversation was just...weird. Something else was layered beneath it and Kara was afraid to tell her for whatever reason. She could see that in her eyes.

So, Alex leaned forward and took one of her sister's hands in her own and gave her a small nod of reassurance.

“Just tell me, Kara, I promise it’s okay,” she tried to reassure.

Kara took a moment before looking at her sister.

“I went to moth- Alura’s AI when I...when I remembered the stories. I was panicked because it made me realize how I look at her,” she held her breath but Alex only nodded for her to continue, “it made me realize that...I’d come to love her Alex. Over the year and a half I’ve known her I’ve come to love her with all of my soul. Unconditionally.  _ This _ entire concept- I don’t believe it in a way that constricts us to each other because I’m giving her whatever part of me she wants by  _ my  _ choice but it made be realize…”

“Yeah?”

“That she’s a set of stars, suns, I look at her and she’s the galaxies I’ve been missing,” A watery smile formed on her face, “she feels like home. She was home when you guys were growing distant with me and I think before that I knew what she could have become to me. I could have stopped myself from falling for her maybe but it’s such a blessing to be able to. Now I know for certain there’s no one else I could have loved more fully.”

Alex stood up, dragging Kara with her, and enveloped her in a hug. Something that both confused Kara and made her happy enough to return it. When she pulled back Alex was grinning happily, proudly, and hitting her shoulder.

“I guess I should tell you now that Maggie adopted her so...she’s already family,” Kara let out a soft laugh leaned into her sister, “straight up means it too. I’ve never seen her so sisterly but those two...that’s a dynamic you  _ have _ to see.”

“Oh, I bet,” Kara chuckled, pulling back further.

Alex took the moment to actually look at her sister. The shaken state of before was no longer there...the burden of keeping a secret from everyone didn’t feel there either. There was a visible difference in her sister she couldn’t quite put her finger on but then again how could she? She couldn’t always perfectly understand her sister but she would always love her.

Kara finally looked happy. A truthful kind of happy, not something she would say was temporary. Kara loved and was finally loved back in full and it showed. A slow smile crawled across her face as Kara rose a brow in question.

“What?”

“Happiness...it looks good on you,” Kara’s cheeks turned pink slightly, “It does. You deserve it. Both of you do.”

As Kara opened her mouth, but Alex clasped a hand over her mouth to stop her.

“No, don’t even start.  _ You do. _ More importantly, you’ve done enough for everyone here so has she,” There was a small pause as she removed her hand, “I do enjoy her company. She is the second most annoying sister but...in a good way. So don’t lose her okay?”

Kara’s eyes shone.

“I won’t,” it was a promise to the universe.

 

**XXXXXX**

 

**SIX MONTHS LATER.**

There was a routine that seemed to fold into their lives. Though awkward when it came to everyone else, with Kara’s health back and Cat’s return- Kara found herself being groomed by the older woman to someday take Snapper’s job. A softness towards Kara appeared and while no one could prove it, there were speculations it was he who had suggested her for years down the road when he planned on actually leaving.

Maggie took over having lunch with Lena, her  _ little _ sister, and Alex would join when she could. It was enough for Lena to indulge in a little bit of gossip among police officers or joke lightheartedly when it was needed. It was also one of the few times that when Kara wasn’t there she felt safe enough to share what went on inside her head or her doubts.

No one could ever be as understanding as Kara, she knew that much, but even when Maggie didn’t understand completely she tried. True to her word. When they’d fight it would often be Maggie who would reach across and pull her into a hug and Lena would apologize first. It never lasted longer than an hour before things seemed to settle. 

With Alex, a stubborn quietness and wall she couldn’t run around or leap over was there. When Lena needed to face the things she feared or put off the things she shouldn’t? Alex was the one to call her out on it and give her a hand to hold throughout it. Alex was like a guiding light when it came to running through the world blindly with Kara. She didn’t seem to mind either.

Lena was still learning to ask for things she needed actively, and Alex was a part of that.

Kara? Her routine with Kara was a quiet reassurance that if yesterday was defeated today was no challenge. If it was a challenge? It was something they  _ could _ get through all the same even with a little difficulty. 

With Kara came a strength she didn’t know she could possess and if she did? She never noticed until Kara pointed it out. There was still a pain in her chest from the loss of Jack, of putting Lillian away, of helping find Lex wherever he may be but it was easing with time. Kara’s hand in hers made it easier to endure it and live.

Her routine with Kara was simple, they just never left each other, and when they had to for work or Supergirl? A promise to call an hour later, or to text, and a kiss was given. They came home to each other every night.

Everyone else was tough to crack.

Lena was never sure if J’onn liked her even if the Danvers said he did, he didn’t smile often or laugh. Winn trusted her but she guessed he wasn’t sure how to reconcile his place before in Kara’s life with the one he might have had now so things were awkward. James, to his word, was trying to trust her...trying and while he faltered Lena kept her word about trying to be his friend.

Even when he threw her a suspicious look she never faltered from her resolve and countless times stuck her hand out for him to take. He didn’t always take it, but when he was in the wrong he would admit it and apologize.

Eliza...Eliza had grown to like her daughter's girlfriends- fiance in Alex’s case, -and at times it was overwhelming to feel what felt like could be a real mother's love. Her memories of her biological mother were few and far between. Lillian's hands were always cold with her but Eliza never hesitated to smile or offer what love she had towards them. Every time, Lena would look to Maggie and see the emotion behind her eyes.

It was starting to feel like home.

Yet, no matter how hard she tried, there was no amount of words to ever tell Kara how she felt in depth. How she had felt like she was floating in space but Kara’s hand had pulled her back down to earth. How the vast loneliness was still there but she didn’t mind holding Kara’s hand through it. When she was back, she was enveloped with the love Kara gave.

How could she simply tell Kara that she was loved with all of her soul, that everything she felt was how Lena felt? It didn’t seem like there was enough. On nights she’d turn in bed and Kara’s arm draped around her carefully, sliding forward until her nose was pressed into Lena’s hair, soft words of ‘I love you too’ she knew Kara understood.

There wasn’t a lack of saying it, not anymore, in fact, Lena knew she might have said too much. It was just...she wasn’t sure her words conveyed it in full. She hoped it did.

Still, Kara knew, she always knew. 

“There’s something so...satisfying,” Maggie commented, the object in her hands, “about this putty. Why did your lab create it again?”

Lena rolled her eyes, snatching the small ball of black putty from Maggie to set it aside and roll it. Smacking Maggie’s hands away as she tried to take it back or roll it herself, Lena let out a small snort.

“It’s stress reducing to them if I give them a day to work on it. I have no clue what it’s meant to do they never tell me,” she shrugged before rolling it back, “and please don’t put it in one of your satisfying compilations. Especially not after the sound of Kara crying over me telling her I’m already taken because she forgot she’s dating me, she was drunk.”

Maggie only grinned.

“It  _ was _ satisfying because she said there was no way she was that drunk. So I just casually put it in a video and showed it to her.”

“Ah yes, and she wouldn’t stop complaining about it for a week,” Lena snorted back as she watched Maggie mold the small ball.

They remained silent for a few minutes until the apartment door opened. All three Danvers walked in. Eliza was first, carrying a couple of bags towards Alex’s kitchen, and the sisters were last. They weren’t arguing but seemed to be in a deep conversation about something as they didn’t notice their significant others until Eliza set the bags down and ventured over to kiss the tops of their heads.

“Are you going to ignore us?” Maggie quipped.

The sister's heads shot up and found their significant others before smiling and wandering over. Alex took a seat in Maggie’s lap regardless of the height difference and Maggie’s complaints about not being able to see. Kara leaned down to kiss Lena until she saw the putty.

“Oh gosh! The putty! This stuff is so cool!” She announced, snatching it away from Maggie’s reach who grumbled, turning Alex so she could actually throw a pout at Kara who wasn’t paying attention.

“It’s just putty,” she grumbled.

Kara looked down at her and shook her head before setting it back on the table and falling to her knees, Lena rose a brow in question.

“No no! It’s so cool! Watch,” Kara thought for a moment before speaking, “mold B-1.”

It took a second but the putty turned into a rough outline of a pick axe, Lena’s brows shot up in surprise and Maggie audibly gasped blinking. Alex was stunned herself, still. Kara grinned and spoke again.

“Mold B-3,” the outline formed into something like a glove, “see!”

“How?” Maggie asked.

“Well it’s not like...done,” Kara mumbled as she picked it up, “but one of the scientists he used to climb with his sons before they went off to college, and they had an accident. So when Lena gave them the freedom use the nanobots in a helpful way, then let them freely make any project they wanted he chose this. He thought it might be a way to help reduce the number of accidents ending in probable death. I don’t know the statistics but it’s going to be able to do so much more than this, I’ve heard their plans for it.”

“Really?” Lena asked in shocked.

Kara smiled and nodded.

“But here’s my favorite they’ve created,” Kara chuckled, “Mold Hero.”

The mold quickly formed into the L-Corp logo.

“Mold, harden.” The logo hardened, it suddenly looked smooth...sleek. 

Lena blinked before gently taking it from her girlfriend's hands to run her fingers over it. It felt smooth, though there was a...texture to it. It felt almost like the glass of your favorite mug, a sudden pride in it, but not for her- for those that worked on it. Gently, Kara turned it over in her hands and she saw it. The small etched words.

_ To our hero, Lena Luthor. Thank you. _

With a shock, her head jolted up and she couldn’t help but stare at Kara. Her mouth opening and closing. Kara only smiled softly and took it from her, passing it to Alex who read it with curiosity before turning back and taking Lena’s hands in hers.

“See,” she smiled, “you’re a hero to everyone. You’re my hero and my heart. I couldn’t be prouder of you, thank you for everything you’ve done for the world, for me. For ALL of us. I love you Lena Luthor. Every bit of you and I know you love every bit of me.”

Lena surged forward and took her face in her hands, kissing her roughly but surely with an indescribable amount of emotions. The pain of seeing Kara bleeding would always be there, she knew that, but every minute she could just hold Kara in her hands and kiss her, thank her for the love she gave was a blessing she refused to give up.

Yeah, Kara always knew.

“You’re the biggest part of my fragile heart,” Lena muttered softly as they pulled back.

Kara gave a watery smile and kissed her forehead.

“Okay lovebirds...this is too much for me,” Alex joked, standing up with a small laugh, “I do think we should help mom cook before she gets in over her head and something is  _ slightly more toasted than usual _ because she  _ always does. _ ”

“I do not, Alexandra!” Eliza huffed from her place.

“You do too,” Kara chuckled to herself.

Lena stood there for a minute before her lips curled into an appreciative smile. Hand curling around Kara’s wrist for a moment.

A final thought ran through her head,  _ Soulmates were people you loved with all of your soul. I think I have the one perfect for me. _

**Author's Note:**

> And YES I am aware there was stuff not addressed, but as this is a oneshot and already so long there was no point. I am also aware there are plenty mistakes, this is unbeta'd.
> 
> Enjoy.


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